I stop myself from drinking NyQuil straight from the bottle but I do really want to sleep and I can’t stop thinking about your stupid face and the stupid way that you always use to say my name, halfway, just sampling it, said it fit me better than the whole thing,
And the way you used to kiss me was like a nightmare, the kind you wake up from with sweaty hands and legs that forget how to be legs when you try to stand up so you don’t even try,
And I keep thinking about the time we spent two hours talking about how scary the ocean is because you’ve been scared of sharks since you saw Jaws in the 2nd grade and I think it’s so vast and expansive that I could get lost and never be found,
And I can’t stop crying because you were all there was for so long that I can’t even think about that past few years without remembering a joke that you told and how you use to make me laugh so hard that I couldn’t breathe and how we’d always hold onto each other so tightly because maybe we were afraid we’d float away,
I just want you to touch my face again and tell me how your day was and how much you missed the smell of my perfume but we don’t do things like that anymore and thinking about that makes me feel like I’m burning straight out of my skin.